The stirring rallying cry of an anonymous commenter writing as "Students for Farm Bot"

The time is ripe for the student body and the many alumni who have walked through our hallowed halls and corridors to honor and embrace a new symbol and figure that best exemplifies our long and successful tradition as a school of the agricultural and engineering arts. The time is ripe for Farm Bot.

There are many things that Farm Bot stands for. For one thing, it stands for “F***ing Awesome Robot Mascot.” What other university’s non-mechanized mascot would stand up to the awesome might of our gigantic metal hero? What other figure could we rally around at halftime to literally crush our foes on the gridiron and on the basketball court? What other symbol shoots corn out of his arm cannon and bottle rockets out of his stovepipe hat, resembling Illinois’ most honorable statesman and uniter, Abe Lincoln? I ask you, and yet none shall reply.

We have a chance to do something courageous, and that is to let our former Chief go with the dignity that he was not afforded at his conception. Instead of a mockery paraded around in the name of tradition, honor, and bravery, let us rally around a true representitive of our university, a true representitive of our mission as a place of higher education: to dominate on the playing field, dominate in the classroom, and dominate our great country and the world.

Let us all unite amid Farm Bot’s cries of “Let’s Cornhole ‘Em!”

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